Children's stubbornness and what mothers can do

Jannatul Ferdousi is harassed while trying to handle her three-year-old child's stubbornness. She is a working mother. Whatever time she has at home, she devotes all her time to her child. She tries to spend quality time with her daughter by playing, singing, and studying. Her mother-in-law takes care of the cooking at home with her maid. As a result, she has no other work to do except give her child time. But as the days go by, the child's demands and demands on her mother are increasing. As a result, the child has already been beaten for several days. Jannatul complains, 'The more I fulfill my daughter's demands and give her affection, the more she seems to be getting into trouble. She is becoming more and more rude day by day.'
Most of our mothers have an attitude like Jannatul. They think that if they fulfill their child's demands and demands, their child will gradually become disobedient and stubborn. But the reality is that excessive stubbornness and anger are a stage of a child's physiological development. Usually, from the age of 3 to 5, children insist on getting their demands met for no reason. Therefore, child psychologists say that during this time, we should handle them with a little more patience. Explaining to the child, telling stories or distracting the child with something else is very useful. Again, it is not good to always stop the child from doing what he wants or wants to do. We must remember that he is also a complete human being. Just as we get annoyed when someone interrupts us in something we like, they also get annoyed. As a result, stubbornness increases. Therefore, we have to treat them in such a way that they cannot be stubborn.
The children's grandparents say that their children were very calm. They couldn't have raised so many children if they had suffered so much. Kids these days are so wicked.
But how can the way today's children grow up compare to that time? Are they able to give today's children a piece of green field to play on, which they were able to give to their own children? Today's children are deprived of the joy of playing in the open air. Deprived of the joy of swimming in clear water ponds or ponds, of the joy of playing football in the mud and rain. These urban children do not even have the opportunity to play with grass, leaves and sand in the kitchen. As a result, they are actually deprived of many things, many pure joys have remained beyond their reach, we need to understand this.
Thirdly, a child wants to use the amount of energy stored in his body. That is why he starts running around the house, jumping around. He starts messing things up and trying to play with something. And in this way he uses his energy. But we get annoyed by this. At the same time, we keep saying 'don't do this, don't do that'. We also have to remember that saying 'no no' actually brings negative results for children. His confidence cannot be built due to this tendency of adults to stop him. And it creates unnecessary fear in children. It creates resentment in them. He may become irritable because he cannot do the things he likes. At some point, he may not want to listen to adults anymore.
Moreover, since many children do not have siblings, they do not have any playmates at home. As a result, they want their parents as playmates all the time. But where do they have all this time? They may want to spend a lot of time on their own work, cooking, and doing office work on their mobile phones and laptops. So, the child's insistence on having this company may seem to them to be unreasonable.
What is the solution in this case? The solution is to be patient. You can keep the child busy with small household chores. If he wants to bathe himself or play with water, give him a day or two. Is the plant in the tub destroying the soil? Let him do it. Remember, this stubbornness will not last forever. So that he does not persist, he must understand. He must go his own way. Slowly he will get better. And of course, it is better to take him to a park or field, under the open sky, than to try to entertain him by feeding him fast food or taking him to the store. Let the young child learn to enjoy chasing butterflies, flowers, and birds. And who is a better teacher than nature? It is also necessary for his physical well-being.
Research has shown that microorganisms in the soil increase children's immunity. Therefore, rural children are relatively healthier, more active, and more energetic than urban children.
Many parents now sit their children in front of the TV or mobile because they are annoying. As a result, the child immediately calms down. But as a result, the chances of him becoming lazy are increasing. Since he is in a passive role in the TV or mobile, his brain is not working. Therefore, his thinking power is gradually weakening. The fast-paced games of mobile or video games create restlessness in the child. Instead, we can expand his imagination by telling him stories or fairy tales.
In fact, parents have to consider the child's physical, mental, and intellectual development. Therefore, instead of treating stubbornness as an indulgence, they should take it positively.
In this context, Nurjahan Begum, Assistant Registrar of BIRDEM General Hospital (2), said, "Children who have iron deficiency in their body, that is, children suffering from anemia, are a little irritable. However, the child's stubbornness largely depends on his or her environment. In this case, it is also related to the relationship between the parents, how they behave with other relatives in the family or the maid. Nowadays, since many mothers are working, children do not get to see their parents for much time. Lack of attention from parents can also create a kind of lack of achievement and frustration in them. Which is manifested through stubbornness. Moreover, after the birth of the second child, when the first child sees that the mother is giving more affection, time or attention to the younger one, jealousy and anger arise in her. Due to which the child becomes excessively stubborn or angry.
So his advice is, 'The time you give to children should be quality time. That is, if you give them one hour, you should turn off your mobile, computer, cooking, and everything else and allocate that time only for the child. The child should understand that this time is only for him or her.'
Child psychologists say that there is no alternative to explaining everything to children all the time. Even though they are children, they actually understand everything. So they need to be explained when it is time for work, when it is time for play, and when it is time for a trip. If necessary, parents can take their children with them to complete their daily tasks. For example, doing laundry and cleaning the house. In this way, they will learn to think of themselves as important. The attitude of helping their parents will also be gradually developed.
And yes, caregivers should remember that 'the more angry, the more compassionate'. If a child is angry or stubborn, hitting him will have the opposite effect. So, during that time, they should be given more affection.
Mahbuba Jannat: Journalist